Almost summer again

Matilda will turn two this Saturday and Rowan has about two weeks left in Kindergarten.  This year really flew by, especially compared to last year.  It’s kind of funny, because not a whole lot changed – except, obviously, the kids.

Jumping up and down in muddy puddles!

I love the reflection in this picture.

Expressing themselves

Matilda is at an adorable stage in language development – she can usually make herself understood and almost everything she says is super cute because it’s still a novelty, her little voice is so dear, and she doesn’t argue yet.  She often pipes up to call our attention to something and then almost always speaks in the format (Thing), (Addressee), (Thing!)  For example: “Plane, Daddy, Plane!” or “Eat, Rowan, Eat!”  Her sweetness is also enhanced by frequent and plaintive cries of Oh, dear! and Oh, no! and Come on!  She also heavily favors hooray, yummy, and delicious!  She still never says "yes" - only "uh-HUH" or "mm-hmm."

Rowan has always been a very capable speaker.  He never needed any speech intervention and has no noticeable impediments.  He learns vocabulary quickly, often based on hearing it in context.  Of course, he sometimes gets vocabulary usage wrong, usually with hilarious results.  He also uses funny phrases like “Trust me!” and “I’m almost afraid to ask, but …”  Despite his capabilities, lately we’ve been struggling with “baby talk,” usually directed at Matilda.  It’s probably not a big deal, but it really gets under my skin.  Ben and I often remind him that he is a big kid and Matilda won’t learn more words if he doesn’t talk to her like a big kid.  Breaking the baby talk habit will likely be Rowan’s next sticker chart goal.

They both love music, but Rowan is especially capable at learning rhythms, beats, and lyrics.  They both play with the electronic drums a lot, and the other day Rowan had one of the demo beats playing and was running around making up his own song.  I’m so sad I didn’t film it, but I was laughing too hard!  It was hilarious and amazing – he was perfectly on the beat!  I’ll have to make sure I have the camera ready if he does it again. They’ve been listening to (and clearly inspired by) the 5.6.7.8s lately.  Ben says they often have morning dance parties to “Woo Hoo.”

Extremely accurate.

Spring Break & the sleep saga continues

The biggest event over Spring Break was transitioning Matilda out of her crib and into a big girl bed.  Rowan got a new twin bed with a wooden frame from Lauren and Kevin, so Matilda took his old one.  It’s a good starter bed since it’s quite low.  We also jettisoned the changing table.  Her room feels much more open now and she can use it as a play space.

Although the bed didn’t seem to freak her out at all, she is still struggling to settle into a sleep grove without a ton of a support from us.  She still requires a bedtime bottle and usually falls asleep while being rocked.  Occasionally I have had luck just lying in her bed with her until she falls asleep.  Naptime usually requires a bottle and/or a ride in the van and often she doesn’t manage to nap at all.  Sometimes Ben can lay her down on her big “crash pillow” or even in her bed and she’ll sleep on (or immediately wake up.)  She still has sporadic bouts of waking in the night, but at least sometimes she can get back to sleep on her own.  She is also able to get out of bed and come to us, which seems to be keeping her from quickly escalating to full-blown panic.  The twin bed also allows one of us to go lay down with her (relatively comfortably) on the occasion she needs extra comfort.  And sometimes she just wants to be in our bed (thankfully, it’s not all the time.)

In other words, no, we have not yet reached our goal of normalizing Matilda’s sleep schedule or nighttime routine.  At this point I doubt her nap routine will ever flourish – she’s on track to just outgrow naps all together before she manages to master the concept.  We need to ditch the bottle sooner than later, though.  She’s just clinging to that routine SO tightly! 
 

We had a really nice Easter in Fredonia.  The weather cooperated and Mom and I were able to hide eggs outside on Easter morning.  It was adorable watching the kids hunt for eggs.  It was also hilarious because Rowan was still waking up and kind of sleepy-confused-disoriented and Matilda found chocolate in the first egg and just plunked down to start eating.
 

Wait, what are we doing again??

OH, I get it now!

Easter best! <3

This boy really loves his Grandma Judy!

That evening we went to Kelly's for Easter dinner and another egg hunt.  The kids knew what was up at that point.  We had a great time, but I was seriously wiped out that night.  It will be wonderful one day when Ben can finally stop working weekends.

Jedi Matilda.

Fearless & magical

It’s funny how needy Matilda is when it comes to sleep, because she is fearless when it comes to just about everything else.  We are eternally grateful that she and Rowan love to play together and she can keep up with him.  Yet they are so different!  To illustrate: A few weeks ago, my friend Rachel was visiting and the kids were playing upstairs.  We hadn’t checked on them for several minutes (another side-effect of two kids – we always had eyes on Rowan!)  Rowan wandered downstairs and started talking to Rachel.  I called upstairs to Matilda and in reply heard a very faint, almost far away-sounding “Mama?”  I thought, huh, she must’ve closed her door or something.  I went upstairs and saw her door open so I called her again.  When she called back I finally realized she was in the attic.

Ben was horrified by this stunt, but I couldn’t stop laughing.  Never, ever could I imagine Rowan doing that – even now at almost 6, but definitely not when he was under 2!  Matilda is hilarious, in all her stomping, growling, climbing, silly glory.

A rare dinner outing.

She’s usually a good counterpart for Rowan and they encourage each other to have fun.  Rowan is more likely to become upset (and stay upset) than Matilda, but he’s also easily enchanted.  He’s always full of big ideas and loves to make up adventure stories.  He loves novelty, which is a bit of a conundrum sometimes because he tends to want us to provide it – it’s hard to explain to him that we have other (boring) things we also need to get done each day (making meals, cleaning, etc.)

CHEESE!!!!

Rowan was SO proud of his school project, a seal habitat.

Rowan’s obsession with novelty becomes especially challenging when he is disappointed.  Almost every time we go on a new “adventure” or he begins a new idea, game, or story, something will inevitably go wrong and he becomes completely derailed (train pun intended.)  And once Rowan becomes disappointed he has a really hard time turning it around without a lot of help or some new novelty.  We encourage him to try to solve his own problems and we frequently discuss focusing on what’s right instead of what’s wrong, but it seems to just fly over his head.  He gets so immersed in his imagination, it only takes one small thing to devastate him.

Ladybug magic!

I do what I want.

But luckily, he has his fearless and affectionate sister to help him out.  In case I haven’t made it abundantly clear, Matilda LOVES Rowan.  If he is upset at all, she immediately runs to him for hugs and assurance that it’s okay.  Maybe one day our resilient girl will be able to help re-direct her sensitive brother.

As always - she's paying attention, he's daydreaming.

Playing nicely together ... for the moment.

Memorial Day & new camera skills

We had a pretty quiet and restful Memorial Day weekend.  I took the kids to my parents’ house for the weekend.  The weather was beautiful and the kids played in the backyard a lot while my folks and I relaxed and visited. 
 

I brought the SLR with me and on a whim, I gave it to Rowan to take some pictures.  In the past, he has struggled with the concept of photography.  He’s not super patient, so he never wanted to listen to directions and would take fuzzy pictures of the floor or ceiling.  However, he actually listened this time – I had the camera set to autofocus, so all he had to do was look through the viewfinder and press the button.  He took a bunch of fantastic pictures and was very proud of his work.  We’ll have to add photography practice to our summer bucket list!

Rowan took the two pictures below (I added filters.)  
I took the picture of my parents' amazing trees of which I am extremely jealous.

P.S. They are gigantic.

 

Trying harder

Winter can be the hardest season with kids.  It’s difficult to find a balance between giving in to excessive “entertaining” and just helping them to not go stir-crazy.  However, we’ve been busier this winter than last.  Matilda is older now and it has been relatively mild and not too snowy, so it’s easier to get out and about.

"Double triple hot chocolate!"

We are incredibly fortunate to live in a city with a lot of great indoor activities for kids, but it can get pricey and I don’t want the kids (especially Rowan) to always feel like we need to “go do something.”  For instance, Rowan LOVES Bounce-It-Out (an indoor jumping place geared towards ages 3-10.)  It’s not crazy expensive, but I don’t want him to always expect it and I also don’t want the novelty to wear off.  We have a membership to The Strong Museum of Play, but at this point it is very challenging for me to take both kids by myself if it’s busy at all because Matilda is a runner.  Rowan is good about letting her steer the way, but it’s still nerve-wracking.  We do go occasionally, and sometimes Ben or I will take just one of them.  We also have a lot of great libraries with big play areas, like the one in Brighton, so there are plenty of options.

His face really captures how much he like Ontario Play & Cafe

Having a great time (and burning energy!!)

And sometimes I just put on a movie and make a big bowl of air-popped popcorn and call it an afternoon.

Christmas Take Two

The weekend after my last post we were off to Liberty, Pennsylvania to spend the long weekend with the Gross Family to celebrate a belated Christmas.  We rented a spacious cabin to solve two problems: no one has a big enough house to comfortable hold all of us for multiple days and David and Liz have long had to drive much longer than everyone else to join gatherings in Ithaca.  The extra space was great and the property was beautiful.  We even got some gorgeous (but not overwhelming) snow flurries on “Christmas” afternoon.

Quite a view

Binoculars + camera phone

The extra space seemed to help everyone relax, however we’ve already begun looking for a new house for next year.  The small galley kitchen made cooking tricky, although we also vowed to simplify and streamline meal prep next time.  We’re also hoping to move a little farther South to make the drive times more equitable.  Overall, I was happy to be in a larger and more open space with more room for the kids (including a finished basement where they could be loud.)

Corning Museum of Glass

Oh hai!

I fell a little in love with walking around the frozen, quiet woods.  Sadly, I didn’t bring my SLR, but as the saying goes, the best camera is the one you have with you.  Ben and I both took a lot of beautiful photographs armed only with our camera phones.  I found the woods incredibly inspiring and I look forward to a getaway like this in the future when the kids are a little older.  I would have liked more time and space to enjoy and explore the inspiration I was feeling. 
 

I guess we're kind of cute. ;)

Winter breaks on breaks on breaks

February break was relaxing, although I might have tried a little too hard to “entertain” the kids while Ben finished up some projects around the house.  It also turned out to be an actual break from winter this year.  Despite the foreboding that almost 70 degrees in February in Western New York brings, it was nice to be outside.  We were able to go to Highland Park and Ellwanger Barry playground, two of our favorites.

Ridiculous.

Monster Baby

And now it’s March and we are entrenched in Winter II: The Unleashing, which brought hurricane-force winds that closed schools for two days (some longer.)  Right now, there is a Nor’Easter winter storm (named “Stella”) crippling the East Coast.  It looks like a normal winter day here in Rochester, but schools are still closed due to dire warnings that today will give way to worsening storm conditions (so far it has not.)  So, it’s Tuesday and we’ve only had one day of school since last Wednesday.  It’s kind of nice to be on an unexpected break, but once again the question is – to entertain or not to entertain?  And how much TV is too much?  And why do my kids like screaming so much?

Surprise trip to Palm Island

Oh look! Cousins!

Not interested in water right now :(

Themes: Aging, Birth, and Dying
Fortunately, when the kids aren’t screaming and bouncing off the walls they can be quite engaging and charming.  Rowan has been somewhat preoccupied with aging lately.  He is proud of being in Kindergarten and he’s excited to turn six next July, but he sometimes gets worried when he thinks about being an adult one day.  He frequently states he wants to live with us forever and he doesn’t want to be an adult.  He often proclaims that in addition to always living with us, he will always want to watch his shows and play with toys.  He still fancies Regina Spektor and particularly likes the refrain of one of her newer songs that goes “I remembered you older and taller, but you’re younger and smaller …”
 

A couple weeks ago we were talking while riding in the van and Rowan was asking me variations on “How old will I be when …?”  When he got to imagining himself at age 80 I said he might have his own children and grandchildren and maybe even great grandchildren by then.  He got worried and cried, “But if I don’t then I’ll be all alone!”  Then we started talking about how you can live with whomever you’d like, even your friends.  I described the basic concept of a nursing home, saying he could live with his friends and play games and watch shows with them when he’s older.  He seemed keen on that idea and it was the first time we talked about the fact that he will be old one day and he didn’t get upset.  

Rowan made his Valentines. <3

Matilda loves painting ... but hates getting her hands dirty.

Just the other day Rowan asked about reproduction, seemingly out of the blue (man, I’d love to know how his train of thought meanders.)  I don’t remember exactly when, but I’m sure we’ve talked about babies and pregnancy.  He said, “Why do you need an egg and SPEEEEEER-um to make a baby?”  It took me a minute to realize “speeeer-um” was “sperm.”  When I finally stopped laughing, I told him that that’s just how our biology works, but continued by saying that some people adopt babies who need a family to take care of them.  Rowan was VERY concerned with how it is determined that adoptive parents are good people.  I explained by first asking him if he thought our home would be good for a baby – he responded enthusiastically yes, it’s warm and we have good food and clean water and space! (We’ve been talking about gratitude for more than just toys.)  I said if we wanted to adopt someone would come check our house and talk to all of us to make sure it was a good place for a baby.  That answer satisfied him and made him very happy.

Fruit Teeth! :D

Rowan has also had some experience coping with death and he has dealt with it surprisingly well considering how sensitive he is most of the time.  Ben’s grandmother passed when Rowan was two, our cat Huck died the following year, last year his godmother Lauren’s aunt (who was like a mom to her) passed away, and just recently Ben’s uncle Bill died.  He’s usually good about talking about it and asking questions, but sometimes he gets worried and uncomfortable.

After we learned of Bill’s passing a few days ago, Rowan asked what happened when you die.  Ben and I told him that no one knows for sure and we explained both heaven and reincarnation.  Rowan had a little bit of trouble with heaven – he was worried about who would be there with him and struggled with the idea of “forever.”  We talked about it more and he seemed to warm to the thought of being able to do what he loves (trains and shows, obviously.)  He was much more taken with the idea of reincarnation.  He became very animated at the idea of being a kid all over again.  I’ve always thought that if reincarnation is real, Rowan is a brand-new soul.

Quick trip to Ithaca

Nom nom nom

Oh, so the Terrible Twos ARE a thing

Matilda, on the other hand, seems like she’s been here before.  Matilda is equal parts deeply adorable and totally evil.  We and others who experience her marvel at how expressive and knowing she seems.  She “talks” a lot more than Rowan did at this age, either with actual words, raw emotion, or both. 

ACCURATE

We went to Highland Park on a relatively warm morning the weekend before winter break and both kids had a great time.  Rowan did his usually racing and goofing around.  Matilda tromped around, keeping up with the big kids by running, climbing, and zooming down the curly slide.  I hope her pushiness levels out into confident assertiveness when she gets older.  At one point while we were at the playground a little boy was trying to engage her with something and she walked away.  When the boy followed her and tried to insist on playing with her, she stuck her hand out, yelled NO! and elbowed him aside.  I was secretly a little pleased.  No one is going to push her around.

When Rowan was approaching two we were all LOL what’s the terrible twos?  That must be a myth!  Well.  It would seem to be an accurate description of where we are headed with Matilda.  She doesn’t complain much in general – she’s usually happy to go places and try new things – but when she doesn’t like something it’s over.  She turns into a banshee.  If she wants something she can’t have, she screeches, spits, hits, bites … sometimes all at once.  My god can this little girl belt out the most blood-curdling scream when she is upset.  It’s horrible.  Fortunately, although her outbursts are intense they are usually rather brief, especially if we can redirect her.   

Matilda’s New Words (and words I forgot to add to the last list):

“Chee” (cheese or mac & cheese)

Ready!

Eggy

Bath

Baby (usually combined with AWWWW!)

Huggy

Uh-nana (Banana)

Spoon

Bread

Poop

Dirty

Bath

Help

Sorry
Pretty

MINE

Alright (sometimes sounds like "Hall-right" and can convey a lot depending on her tone)

What will spring bring?

I’d like to be optimistic, but regarding Hurricane Matilda I must be realistic.  It is likely going to get worse before it gets better.  And I know I’m not helping much – I’m not one of those moms who stays calm and soothing no matter how deranged her child becomes.  I go crazy with them. 
 

Crazy can be fun.

Once it gets warm again that should help to relieve some of the tension.  Running around outside is one of the best release valves for child-mania.  And I’m considering gymnastics classes for Rowan – he needs more physical activity but he also needs to learn physical discipline.  His gross motor skills leave a lot to be desired (likely a leftover issue from when he had strabismus as a baby) and I still catch him sitting in a W often.  He also has a very poor sense of basic body mechanics – which sometimes results in him hurting Matilda without realizing it. 

This school year seems to be passing much quicker than last – I’m already looking forward to summer projects.  I really want to do a better job with the garden this year.  The tomatoes did well in the raised bed last year, I’d like to make at least one more raised bed for our zucchini and squash.  I also want to grow more plants from seeds.  I wish we had been able to replace our tree this past fall because the yard looks really empty without it. 

I’m perennially frustrated by the yard.  It never feels even close to “done” or even very functional.  Spring comes, we clean it up, the bulbs bloom, and I think it looks great and this will be the year that our yard is awesome!  But then by mid-July I’m overwhelmed and just give up.  By mid-August it’s basically just weeds and tomatoes.

The yard isn’t really a metaphor for anything, but my struggles with it are parallel to all the other struggles.  I’m struggling to accept that nothing (the house, the yard, careers, finances, kid’s habits and issues, etc.) is ever “done.”  Nothing is ever done but I also must live with how everything is presently.  I am starting to push myself even harder by asking myself – am I really doing my best?  Really?  We all think we “do so much” and we need to “give ourselves a break.”  That’s all true, but I also need to be honest with myself about whether I’m really, truly doing my best.  And when the answer is no, I need to try harder.

Don't "wee-are-ee" (worry), Mom.