Thursday, January 12, 2017

I'm going to stop calling these "mega posts"


These huge posts are just what I do now.  I'm glad I was able to post monthly when Rowan was a baby, but these longer recaps are also great for really seeing how much has happened and how much has changed in just a few months.  I originally started this post with “Not too much has changed since last spring.”  But in the weeks of working on this post, I’ve noticed how much and how drastically everything has changed; mainly, Matilda is MUCH more communicative.  Both kids are bigger*, of course, and more capable.  It amazed me to see how different they both looked just last July.  And while their personalities remain essentially the same, those inherent characteristics are more pronounced.  Rowan is our sensitive, inquisitive, excitable, and easily distressed kindergartener.  Matilda is our hilarious, stubborn, and extremely independent (and yet somehow also very needy) toddler.  They are very different people, but they have one thing in common – they both have very little chill. [*Side note: Matilda is in fact MUCH bigger.  In the three months between her 15 month and 18 month check-ups, she grew SIX INCHES.  Her growth chart is almost a straight vertical line, jumping from about the 40th percentile to literally off the charts.]

Kicking off the summer in style
Rowan's UPK graduation from St. Paul's!

This school year has been better than last in a lot of ways for me professionally – I’m in a regular classroom again (albeit shared) and enjoying the classes I’m teaching more (helped by the fact that most of my students actually elected the electives I’m teaching.)  But I often feel overwhelmed.  I’m literally never alone so I frequently struggle to “pull it all together” – thoughts, projects, general peace of mind.  I told a friend the other day that I wish I could take a sabbatical.  But where would I go?

Painting! (His work now is much more realistic.)
Painting (sealing) the deck!

Ben is still working part time (weekends only.)  He continues to be our in-house pastry chef and recently took up beer-making.  The unprecedented political climate has prompted him to start writing more (newopenletters.blogspot.com) And he takes Rowan to school and picks him up in the afternoon.  Lately, Matilda has taken to wearing her little Peppa Pig backpack to and from school.  She is such a textbook little sister sometimes.

So sweet together! <3
And so little!

The kids are wonderful and endlessly charming.  But they’re still kids.  As I write this paragraph, Matilda is sitting on my lap, grabbing at the computer.  I’m exhausted because she was up puking all night and then again this morning.  Obviously, it’s not her fault when she has trouble, but it’s still tiring.  And I try to have patience with Rowan, too.  He’s always daydreaming, stuck in his own world.  He’s not defiant (that will be her) but he often fails to listen because he just doesn’t hear us.  In the moment when he’s making Matilda crazy as well (or accidentally hurting her) and I’ve forgotten to take a few deep breaths, I’ll just freak out.  Like I’ve said before – I’m blunt and he’s sensitive.  It’s not always a great combination.

A visit to the beach on our 7th anniversary <3
More beach time! (Lake Erie)

Ben is far more patient than I am, but Rowan’s obliviousness gets to him sometimes, too.  It’s especially difficult when he’s creating problems for Matilda.  And then there’s his food pickiness.  And then Matilda still won’t go down for naps.  And then we’re often tired because she still sleeps poorly …

I know better than to worry.  Everything we worry about becomes the past eventually.  I worry about Matilda’s sleep habits – eventually she’ll sleep just fine.  I worry about Rowan being a picky eater – eventually he’ll eat us out of house and home.  I worry about Matilda still needing a bottle – eventually she’ll grow out of it.  I worry about Rowan adjusting and developing and building skills at school – eventually kindergarten will be over and he’ll move on to new challenges in first grade and beyond.

We are so lucky that they get along so well. :)
She LOVED riding in this car.
Rowan's 5th birthday (Durand Eastman)

I also know better than to create unreasonable expectations.  Every summer I start out with the greatest of expectations – I’m going to fix all the things!  Create all the things!  Write all the things!  Clean all the things!  Organize all the things!  Spend all of the quality time!!!

Thoughtful girl <3
Happy boy :)
Such a cutie pie
Visiting the farm <3
This summer was pretty great, despite my unreasonable expectations.  We did get the kitchen and dining room repainted … but there are still a lot of odds and ends that need fixing.  I cleaned out the porch and create a studio space for myself … but I only used it a couple times.  We went to the beach … a couple times.  Obviously, I didn’t write.

Lots of time at the playground :)
AAHHHHH!!!!
Goofing at the Buffalo Zoo
Rowan got to ride on that train :)
That's our goofball :)

But I did spend a lot of the quality time with the kids.  Ben did a lot of the painting and many days I took the kids out on some kind of mini-adventure from mid-morning until naptime to allow him to have time and space to work.  I don’t particularly remember what we did, I just remember enjoying being together.  It made me feel a little better about going back to working 45-50 hours a week in late August.

First day of Kindergarten.  Puffy eyes because he got up so early.
He was SOOO excited. :)
... But a little nervous, too. <3

[I’m not going to write anymore about the saga of choosing a school for Rowan.  He’s at Henry Hudson #28 and we’re reasonably happy.  This article sums up all the issues I agonized over throughout last winter and spring: http://www.nytimes.com/2016/06/12/magazine/choosing-a-school-for-my-daughter-in-a-segregated-city.html?_r=0]

Still adjusting to two
Rowan was an anxious baby; Matilda is an anxious toddler.  Once Rowan learned to walk he chilled out – it seemed like independence was all he ever wanted.  And he was content to pilot himself to appropriate activities – getting toys, grabbing a snack, or just burning some energy by running around.  My inexperienced parent brain thought: Awesome! That’s so great how kids calm down when they learn to walk!  And they never get into stuff they’re not supposed to touch! It’s so great!

Maybe I’m not ALWAYS right.

Hey, can I drive? PLEASE??!!
These two. <3<3

I did anticipate a lot of Matilda’s traits correctly.  I knew that she’d be a smaller baby to start (8 lbs. 6 oz.), but catch up (currently over 30 lbs. and wearing a 3T at 19 months old.)  I knew that she’d be generally more outgoing and brave (second kids generally are since they are trying to keep up.)  I hoped she would be a better eater (she is, though not very fond of vegetables or most fruits.)  And I just knew that she’d be a terrible sleeper.

But I did not anticipate how much she would get INTO stuff.  We cannot baby-proof this house enough.  Fortunately, she’s not too bad about putting things into her mouth, but otherwise she is on a mission to destroy everything.  Anything that she can find that has multiple pieces will be dumped (games, markers, whole bags of Goldfish crackers, etc.)  Sometimes she’ll take a snack only to crush it and spread it around the house (eating literally none.)  It’s all normal early toddlerhood stuff – we just managed to avoid it the first time around. 

We had a beautiful fall this year.
BELLY!!!! :D

He’ll have the spaghetti, she’ll have the meatball
We are fortunate that the kids get along as well as they do.  I think Rowan’s personality helps a lot – he has a rather immature mentality, so he isn’t likely to complain that anything is too babyish.  He LOVES to make her laugh.  They hug a lot.  It will be interesting to see how their personalities mingle as they get older.

Chomping donuts at Power's
And bread on Thanksgiving

We did baby-led weaning with Matilda and therefore skipped baby food.  We have been offering her everything that is appropriate at the table since about 7 months.  She is a reasonably outgoing eater now and we had hoped that would rub off on Rowan.  Sadly, he remains as resistant as ever.  And since he always has macaroni and cheese or spaghetti, she often wants that as well. (The double-edged sword of the tag-along mentality.)

However, even though Matilda often will have what brother’s having, she differs from him significantly in that she will eat meat.  Rowan remains a self-imposed vegetarian, but Matilda almost always goes crazy for meat, especially beef and any kind of sausage. Last night we had to cut her off because she wanted to eat ALL of the steak.

Oh, hi there! Are you talking about us??

As they get older, I’m hoping we can get them both more on board with vegetables.  We’re doing everything we can to encourage them.  We offer plenty of vegetables in plenty of forms.  Ben and I both eat a lot of vegetables and talk about how delicious and healthy they are.  We also grow our own vegetables in the summer and the kids are involved with the garden.  Eventually, these habits will pay off and they’ll come around.  I hope.

Annual October trip to Ithaca
Matilda is grabbing Taughannock Falls ;)
Rowan enjoyed eating the apples he picked :)
One of my very favorite Matilda pictures <3
She is such a ham for the camera!
This picture captures Rowan's essence. <3

Matilda’s Words
Matilda is an extraordinarily expressive kid.  It’s amazing how much she understands and responds when we talk to her.  She loves to point and she’s also using some sign language.  She also follows simple directions well – if she feels like it.  And she’ll always respond to yes/no questions – even if her response isn’t accurate.  For example, while eating: Matilda, would you like more? NO! (Takes another bite.)

Here are her words (that we can decipher):

NO (Always drawled with ALL of the attitude. Sigh.)
Mmmm-HM (Never “yes”.)
More (She also signs by banging her fists together.)
Mama
Daddy (And she FINALLY calls Ben ‘Daddy.’  Until recently, she would refer to me AND Ben as ‘Mama.’)
Brother (Brah-brah or Bruh-er)
Rowan (I’m sure I’ve heard it.)
Hello (Usually spoken into a “phone.”)
MINE
BABY! (plus sign)
I love you (She repeats it back – it sounds like “eye-uv-oo”)
Water
Apple (plus sign)
Milk (plus sign)
Spaghetti (A-getti!)
Sausage (Sah-sehj)
Yummy
Happy/Peppa (These sound very similar.)
Help me
Bye-e (She loves to wave, too.)
Light (ight! ight!)
Good night (Nigh-Nigh!)
Bottle (BAH-ow or Bah-bah)
Yummy (ummy!)
Ears, Eye, Nose (She LOVES to identify facial features.  She can identify and point to ears, eyes, and nose, and she points to chin, lips, cheek, hair, and head when prompted.)
WEEEE!
Hooray!
(Snorting to indicate Peppa Pig)
(Monkey noises to indicate Curious George. Hoo-hoo-hoo!)
(Clicks her tongue to indicate she wants a sucker.)

She's still our baby <3

Deep Winter
Christmas has come and gone and I only had mild anxiety problems.  We enjoyed December as much as possible this year by creating lots of fun anticipatory events and activities.  The house is covered in seasonal paper crafts, the tree has been up since December 9th, cards were sent, gifts were made, cookies were baked and delivered, and seasonal music and movies were enjoyed.

Meeting Santa.  He was NOT interested in lap-sitting. :)

We spent Christmas Eve and Christmas morning at home.  I tried to enjoy the fact that we didn’t have to pack and run off right before the holiday, but of course I went a little overboard despite it being only the four of us.  A few things didn’t work out that well (I was underwhelmed by Christmas Eve dinner), but overall it was a good holiday at home.  Christmas Eve breakfast was especially cute.  Santa came and new toys were enjoyed.  We drove to my mom’s house in the afternoon and enjoyed Christmas dinner with my family.  Matt came over late in the evening to shower us with gifts and Matt-ness and I passed out on the loveseat while he was talking.

Christmas Spirit <3 <3
Rowan helped make a festive breakfast! :)
Christmas morning
Santa brought each of them a special gift

And now it’s January and were settling in for winter.  Sometimes we go to the museum on the weekends, sometimes we stay in and relax.  Some nights the early darkness is exhausting, sometimes it is cozy.  Rowan is struggling slightly with the post-holiday letdown, so today we started a new goal: 30 days with no tantrums.  Hopefully we can hold onto our collective sanity until spring.