First christmas tree + general cuteness

We have a lot of traditions with friends & family and I am looking forward to Rowan becoming a part of those traditions.  Today is actually Belsnickel Day, a fun and quirky Dankert tradition.  Rowan won't be able to really participate in this one until he is a old enough to know what is going on.  Long (and probably made up) story short, the Belsnickel is a rather maniacal, bell-covered henchman to Santa Claus and he comes around after dark on December 5th, pounding on and slamming doors, shaking his bells and throwing in treats for good kids (coal for bad ones.)  He also picks up your Christmas list from the mailbox and takes it to Santa.  My sister and I always loved Belsnickel Day, probably mostly because we didn't know anyone else who celebrated it (other than relatives and close family friends that caught our weirdness.)

One of our other Christmas traditions is getting our tree at Power's Farm Market with our friends Rachael & Jake the first weekend of December.  Rowan wasn't too impressed by the trees this year, but he did enjoy looking at the lights.  Next year I'm sure he'll have fun running around, checking out the animals, and helping pick our tree.

These trees do not impress me.

Our little family

Simple, beautiful lights display!

I love having the Christmas tree up - it makes the house feel so warm and peaceful.  I have a tendency to leave it up excessively long.  Other than the tree, I don't usually put up much else for decorations.  Of course, once Rowan gets older I might come up with some fun ideas if I can get him psyched about crafting.

This kid is too cute - he can be so expressive (rarely when the camera is out, though.)  I always get a big grin when I come home, even though I'm only gone for about six hours most days.  He gets especially excited when he's on his changing table and I get right in his face - he scrunches up his whole face into the biggest grin and coos really loudly.  So wonderful.  Of course, he can also be very moody - lately he's been snapping from that delirious happiness into crazed unhappiness.  One second he's smiling and giggling, and literally the next he's tearing up and his lip is quivering.  Maybe the teething pain is just coming in waves.  We try to keep our boy happy.

Oh - hey, Mom.

Four months old + counting

It seems like Rowan got super strong and agile overnight!  A few weeks ago he started grabbing things and now he's pretty good at it.  There have been a few times when he got frustrated because he forgot how to let go.  :)  He can also grab his feet and he is clearly very proud of it.

Now how do I get this entire thing in my mouth??

Hey birds! Look what I can do!

Rowan's Likes: Grabbing his cage ball, raspberries on his belly, having his chin or belly tickled, "fighting" with Chewy (the bear), snuggling, chewing on his hands/bibs/burp cloths

Rowan's Dislikes: Going to bed, the car seat, being away from home

Oh, hi.  I'm just busy growing out of my 9 month clothes.

I noticed this week that Rowan's left eye is starting to turn in a lot again - it had seemed like it was getting better.  Oh well, he's still young and his vision seems good.  And he's gotten very good at following moving objects with both eyes.  He also makes good eye contact now.

Teething is probably going to be a challenge.  However, we have found some homeopathic remedies, plus we have baby Tylenol for when he's really in agony.  Rowan is also getting fairly good at self-soothing - he likes to chew on soft things like his hands, his bib, a burp cloth, or one of our hands.  Occasionally he'll go for his cold teething ring.  Distraction is often the best remedy.  Rowan likes to play with Mom & Dad:

Rowan's first Thanksgiving + meeting more friends

Rowan had a rough start to the holiday week.  It would appear he is officially teething - he's drooling a lot and chewing on his hands, bibs, and burp cloths a lot.  He must have been in a lot of pain earlier this week because he was extremely fussy, including pushing away his bottle a lot and basically refusing to eat.  It might have been that his mouth was sore, but I've also heard that teething can cause an upset stomach, too.  I'm sure with all the extra saliva a fair amount ends up in his belly and bugs him.  He was also up all hours of the night - I know lots of new parents have to deal with that continually, but we're not used to it.  The other problem was that he wasn't getting any good naps in either which added to his irritation.

This basically sums up last week.

Finally, and fittingly, the craziness broke on Thanksgiving and he's been doing a lot better the past few days.  He's eating better and catching up on sleep (in fact he's nearly TWO HOURS into napping right now, practically unheard of for him!)  We've also built up a cache of teething antidotes this week, including a cold teething ring, washcloths, our own (clean) fingers,  baby Tylenol, and a homeopathic med called Camilia.  I try to avoid using the Tylenol too often, though, partly because I don't want him to have too much and partly because I don't want him to get used to it.

We went to Dryden for the holiday and Rowan got to spend time with Grandma & Grandpa Gross, Aunt Gretchen, Uncle David, Aunt Liz, Great Uncle Bill, and Great Grandma!  We also went out to Aunt Judy and Uncle Gary's beautiful house in the woods - sadly Rowan is not old enough to try the amazing burrata that Aunt Liz brought. :) Soon enough.

Playing at Grandma's house

I didn't take as many pictures as I should have while we were visiting, but we had a great time.  Making pizza together has become a bit of a tradition when we visit Ben's family.  It won't be long until Rowan can help top the pizzas!

We also got to visit with Ben's friends Lars and Kate and their son Desmond.  I am very sad that they live in Seattle now because they are so awesome and I wish we could hang out all the time.  They are very cool and smart and down to earth.  The boys weren't too into one another this time around, but I'm sure they'll have fun playing when they are both a little older.

Snuggling with Kate

14 month old Desmond & 4 month old Rowan

And if that wasn't enough fun, on Saturday we got a visit from Matt, Evan, and Rachel!  Rowan showed off his moves for everyone and gave away lots of smiles.  Matt and I cooked dinner together, our favorite past time.  We made butternut squash bread pudding, spinach salad with roasted beets and red onion marmalade, and apple almond crisp.  I wish we could visit more often.

Hey!  That's my thing!

Beautiful eyes!

Wrestling bears & telling stories

Rowan is getting quite good at grabbing ... and just this week he has decided to put that skill to use in fighting bears.  Well, one bear.  Of the teddy variety.  Still, he's pretty tough. :)

He also still loves those hands and continues to tell us all sorts of great stories.  Sometimes I play back the video for him - he gets really interested and seems to try to talk back.  Today I tried that when he was upset and he calmed right down - he got very focused, staring and cooing at himself.

Rowan + funny hats

Rowan really doesn't seem to mind wearing hats, but he does like to swivel his head a lot and quickly.  I noted today that he kind of looks like a deranged owl when he really gets going. (I'm going to look here! Now here! Now here!)  So sometimes they fall off.  And sometimes we manage to snap a quick picture:

Strong legs & soft hands

Rowan is getting so strong!  He is learning how to stand - he can just about support his weight, but he is still learning balance.  He likes to practice standing up by pushing with his legs while Ben or I hold his hands or arms.  We usually do this while we are lying down and he is on top of us.  Rowan loves to stand up and he continues to be a pretty good sport about using his stander (most of the time.)

Although Rowan can basically sit up unassisted (though mom or dad need to be there in case he wobbles), he still does not roll over.  He just doesn't seem interested in it yet.  It might also be his size - that's a lot of baby to roll over!

Rowan is still a good night sleeper, but he's been a bit fussy this past week.  He has woken up a few times during the night and often has trouble getting to sleep (and staying asleep.)  Last night I put him to bed and he woke up a few minutes later, whimpering and crying out.  We laughed because it really sounded like he was wailing "Moooooom!"  I took him another warm bottle and fed it to him while he stayed in his (elevated) rocker bed.  He squirmed at first, but then got a hold of my left hand and promptly calmed down.  He dozed back off, still holding my hand.  His soft little hands are so sweet, I just wanted to sit there all night holding hands.

Of course, he woke back up again a few minutes after I pulled away.  Eventually, he went down for the night and this morning awoke with his (now) usual smiles and coos.

What have we here?

Something old & something new

Rowan has gotten very strong and very flexible over the last few days.  This morning he discovered he can grab his feet with his hands. So cute!  He's also been making some fun faces at us - his misaligned eye is getting better and he likes to open his eyes REALLY big. :)

Well, hello there!

In old news, Rowan still hates the carseat. Sigh. It will be nice when we can just take him out without it becoming a huge ordeal.

What we do now (into the fourth month)

So now we are well into the fourth month.  Rowan has a definite personality: curious, particular, serious.  He is sweet and cuddly and still needs to be held a lot.

It seemed like overnight Rowan learned how to grip and hold objects.  Now he sometimes likes to sit in his Bumbo with the tray and play with his cage ball or a colorful toy with lots of parts and textures.  Grandma & Grandpa Dankert got Rowan a Wonderbug this weekend - a stander with lots of toys.  Sometimes he only likes it for a few minutes, but sometimes he stays engaged for quite awhile.

 

Ben and I are used to eating in shifts.  We have simplified our lifestyle quite a bit, but we still like to eat good, home-made food.  Tonight we actually ate together, at the dining room table, while Rowan played in his Wonderbug. 

In other news, someone was very cute while hanging out in his room this afternoon ...

Still more about this baby (the third month)

By the time the third month got underway, our snuggly little Monster was starting to learn lots of new tricks.  His quiet cooing became loud proclamations.  Sometimes it sounds like he is actually saying "cooooo!"  Sometimes it sounds like "Ah! Ah! AAAH!" or "Oooo!  OOOO!"  No matter what he's got to say, we hear it.  And we talk to him a LOT.  It's easy since he's my or Ben's only company a fair amount of the time ... it will be interesting to see what he starts to pick up eventually.

Our little boy is quite serious.  He likes to stare at new things and gets quite the quizzical look on his face.  However, by month three he had started smiling regularly, too.  We finally heard his first laugh in early October while we were visiting Ben's family in Ithaca.  We're not sure what he was laughing at - he was just staring off into the sky over the roof of Wegman's.  My friend Rebecca thinks that babies can see angels and my mom said she heard of a little boy who claimed to see and be talking to his deceased grandmother.  Who knows - I'm sure babies are hyper-aware of their surroundings since they are learning so much so fast.

We get these half-smiles a lot. :)

Things that almost always make Rowan laugh/smile: Mom or Dad talking to him, having his chin tickled, Mom tickling his face with her hair, the mirror next to the front door, looking out the window in his room, the ceiling fan in the living room, the larger artworks around the house (sometimes Mom's drawing in the bedroom elicits more of a startled response.)

Rowan tends to be a little impatient and he wants to be held most of the time.  We love holding and snuggling him - but you know, we have to use the bathroom and eat occasionally.  I remind myself often how quickly this time will pass - and when he's a teenager and will barely let me hug him, I'll miss the days when I could scoop him up in my arms.

Still, he did start to branch out a little bit during the third month to tolerate hanging out in places other than mom or dad's arms.  He slowly built up a tolerance for the Bumbo seat - now he will occasionally enjoy it for almost a half hour at a time!  But usually it's only a few minutes.  His favorite place remains his changing table where he can stretch, look out his window, and look at his birds.

Look!  Look at these birds!!

Rowan also took his first trip to Ithaca at the beginning of the third month.  He met his only great-grandmother and saw the Ithaca Commons and Farmer's Market for the first time.  Unfortunately, he could only watch as we gobbled up delicious Viva Taqueria food - soon enough he will be able to enjoy his own quesadilla.

Man, he's such a little hulk!

Snuggling at the Ithaca Farmer's Market

We like to take Rowan out as much as possible, but he really despises being strapped into his carseat.  Once in awhile he will tolerate it, and a fair amount of the time he falls asleep, but often he just screams and screams in the car.  It makes us hesitant to take him out.  We hope he grows out of it soon - we feel bad sometimes taking him out because he gets to upset.

Since he likes to be held so much, a baby carrier would seem to be a logical choice.  However, our picky baby isn't always up for it - I have a standard, front-loading Chicco carrier and a more simply designed Hip Hammock by Playtex.  He would have nothing to do with the Chicco during the third month, but we had a little success with the Hip Hammock.  Ultimately, he knows we're cheating and he doesn't like it. :)  Perhaps this will change when he gets bigger.  We hope.  I have had a little success with the Chicco in the last couple weeks.

 

Nom nom ... hanging out outside and eating his fist, two of Rowan's favorite thing

 

Lil' pumpkins ... UNITE!

Rowan has always had gas and tummy troubles.  We started him on Enfamil AR early on - mixed with the Newborn formula at first as approved by his pediatrician.  By the third month he was on AR only.  He still spits up quite a bit most day and seems to have gas/stomachache fairly often.  But it's not too severe and his doctor says it's just part of being a baby.  We're hoping he grows out of it soon - he goes through a LOT of bibs and burp cloths.

Rowan's Likes: Looking at his fist, putting his fist in his mouth, stretching, being outside, being held, looking around, eating, apple juice, sitting up (with some help)

Rowan's Dislikes: Being strapped in the carseat, waiting, being bored, being hungry, tummy time (usually - he gets on board about once every three or four tries), waking up in the morning* 

(*During the first week of month four he began to wake up in a much more pleasant mood - now he'll talk to himself, look at his hands, and suck on his fists for awhile before he decides it's high time mom or dad got him up and got a bottle in his mouth.)

A friendly face

When I got home from work today Ben was holding Rowan up to his shoulder.  I swooped in with my usual big hello and got a big, happy smile from my little bug.  Just the best.

A sort of smile - he's quite serious.

More about this baby (the second month)

Around the beginning of the second month we were easing into our new normal.  We had just discover the most amazing baby sleeping contraption ever (at least for Rowan) and he was starting to sleep through the night.  He had his post-baby shower (aka baby coming out party) on August 27th, right at the four week mark.  After that, the visiting slowed down and Ben & I started to develop a routine.

Fist bump! Hooray for routine! 

I went back to work that week.  I feel like I have the best of both worlds right now - I only work 20-28 hours a week so it gets me out of the house and helps me feel productive, but I'm still spending the majority of my time with Rowan.   We don't have family in town, so we have to balance our schedules around caring for him.  It can be hard sometimes because there isn't a lot of time when we are both home with him.

During month two I started to feel really badly about not living near family.  We love our life here - we love our house, our friends are here, and we love all that Rochester has to offer.  I have a great part time job right now working at the University of Rochester Art Department - I wouldn't have an opportunity like that in Fredonia.  However, I hate knowing that Rowan will only see his cousins once a month on average.  My family is really close and I grew up spending a lot of time with my extended family.  My cousins are more like siblings and I spent every summer with my grandparents.  I had a mini-breakdown about this a few weeks ago while I was trying to get home for the weekend - everything possible was making it so hard just to make the two hour drive to my parents and it ended up taking almost four hours to get there.  I talked to Ben for the last stretch of the drive and calmed down a bit.  We basically left it at, I don't REALLY see us ever moving to Fredonia, BUT ...  we will just have to see what opportunities life presents.  We talk about the future, of course, but we also know that we can't plan for everything nor can we know what opportunities might arise.

Rowan with his cousins Ella & William

It seemed like Rowan changed very gradually during the second month - but boy was he growing!  He blew through his 3 month clothes into 6 and even 9 month sizes.  He started looking around a lot more and got very excited when we put some black silhouette decals on the off white wall next to his changing table - he definitely loves contrast!  At this point he was not very interested in tummy time, but he would push up, lift his head, and look around if he was lying on my or Ben's chest. He also started to notice his hand this month - he would hold up his fist (usually his left one) and wave it around and bring it to his face.  We wonder if he is left-handed.

Around this time it occurred to Ben that we should be taking more regular pictures of Rowan - like a 365 project, but it has ended up being a few times a week instead of daily.  But it's been good for capturing his growth, the development of his features, and his changing facial expressions.  Below are a few of those pictures.

No point in white-washing history ...

It's common for babies to have a misaligned (turned in) eye and it usually clears up no later than 6 months.  Still, it's hard not to worry that there might be something wrong.  His doctor isn't worried though and Rowan does look and look and look at the world around him.

Towards the end of the second month, Rowan started cooing.  It was very quiet and more to himself at first.  He has a deep, husky little voice.  We can't wait for him to start telling us all sorts of exciting things.

Rowan's Likes: Being held, looking at his hands, stretching, eating, snuggling, looking at his birds, being naked, baths, being outside

Rowan's Dislikes: Changing clothes (sometimes), waiting, the carseat

The things we call our kid

We named our son Rowan Dankert Gross.  We (and our friends and family) call him almost everything but his actual name.  The following is an ever-growing list of the many, many, many nicknames we have for this awesome little boy.

 The monster is roaring.

Angry Baby
Baby!
Baby Rowan (*Ella & William's nickname)
Blue Eyes
Bub
Buddy 

Bug

Bugger

Buggy

Booger

Boogs

Goober

Goobs

Gooby

Gooby-Dooby
Goobity-Doobity

Handsome
Handsome Boy
Little Boy Blue (Lauren)
Little Blue Eyes
Love

Loves

Lovey

Lovebug

Monster

Mr. Handsome
Mr. Pants (Lauren)
Mr. Poop Pants (Lauren)
Poop
Poops
Pooper
Poop Biscuit (Lauren)
Pooper Scooper
Pukey

Puker-Pajuker

Pukepants
Ro-Ro

Rowboat
Row Dog
Row-ster

Snugs
Snugglebutt
Snuggers
Stinker
Stinky
Sweetie

Sweet Boy

About this baby (the first month)

I wish I had started this sooner.  I was hoping I would have time to sit down and write by hand about our new life with Rowan.  I still want to do that, especially once he starts talking.  But for now, I can type much faster than I can write and he's already over 3 months old!  I need to start writing before I forget too many things.

The first month
Rowan was born at 12:08 pm on Saturday July 30 via C-section at Highland Hospital in Rochester, NY.  He was a week late and the surgery was planned - they thought he might be as big as 12 pounds!  When the doctor told me that I might have uttered some not so baby-friendly words.  He ended up being "only" 10 pounds, 12 ounces - still plenty huge and a little hard to get out.  They told me they had to use the vacuum - I don't really want to know much more about the mechanics of his birth.  It was intense, but I was just focused on his arrival.  I was just relieved to see him - and relieved my doctor had suggested planned surgery when I saw the size of his swollen head!

 His dad was there to comfort him right away

 Rowan appeared very healthy at birth, but the next day he had to be moved to the Special Care nursery.  SC is essentially a preventative measure - it's for babies with relatively mild problems that the hospital wants to observe as a precaution.  Rowan was The Angry Baby in the nursery.  He would get so upset that he would have a hard time breathing and his oxygen levels would drop.  He was also at risk for infection (common for babies born via C-section.)  I was not prepared for how traumatized I would be when they took him away from me.  The fact that I couldn't walk added to my feeling of helplessness.  Ben took me down to see him whenever I wanted, and each time I just cried and cried.  He was only there for about 24 hours, but it felt so long.  We were so excited and relieved when we were allowed to bring him back to the room with us.  So, I had a crash course in parental concern.  I still check on him several times when he is sleeping.

I had a very straightforward approach to pregnancy - I kept my "plans" to a minimum, knowing there was no way I could control everything.  As someone who is generally considered a control freak, this was quite a feat for me.  Other than the basics, most of preparation boiled down to "I'll do my best."  When people asked if I would breastfeed, I responded that I would try.  I'm glad I didn't have my heart set on it, because it didn't work out.  Sometimes I feel guilty about it and I have to remind myself that I did my best and Rowan is healthy and those are the only things that matter.

After four days in the hospital we came home.  We spent two uncomfortable nights upstairs before setting up camp in the living room.  Rowan was not (and is still not) comfortable sleeping flat on his back so for most of the first month he slept in his swing in the living room.  I slept first in the chair and then moved to the couch as I healed.

The first month was a blur of visitors, feeding, and sleeping.  This is why I wish I had started writing earlier - I remember the birth and our stay in the hospital vividly, but once we came home the days started to run together a bit.  We had very generous family and friends stopping by nearly every day - Rowan was showered with hugs, kisses, and adorable outfits and Ben and I were showered with hugs, kisses, and food. :)

Rowan's likes: snuggling, snuggling into mom or dad's shoulder, being held, pacifiers (for the first three weeks), eating, sleeping, baths (suddenly, after hating the first four)

Rowan's dislikes: changing clothes, changing diapers, baths (at first), pacifiers (after the first three weeks he acted like we were fools to offer it :)